How to protect yourself from the negative colleague in the office
Negativity from your office neighbour isn't just annoying, it's contagious!
When researchers went over findings from the Framingham Heart Study with a fine-tooth comb, they found that you don't just catch germs but "feelings circulate in patterns analogous to what’s seen from epidemiological models of disease."
And unfortunately negativity is far more contagious than joy.
So what do you do if your office is a host for the emotional equivalent of typhoid? You can't live in a bubble keeping your whining colleagues and clients at a safe distance out of fear they'll infect you. Fortunately there are lots of ways you can stop their constant gripes from dampening your mood.
Laura Tong details 23 ways to stop your workmates' negativity beating you in her book Success Consciousness. Some are bonkers, others are very serious. Here's a snapshot of 5 of them.
Come prepared
If you know conversation in the office often ends up being about the same depressing subjects, it's up to you to come up with alternatives and stop the grumblers before they get on a roll. Be ready with optimistic subjects to start a conversation. You'll have more control over keeping up the positive tone if you start the conversation.
Try to be compassionate
No, it isn't easy to be compassionate with your workmate who's complaining about the same little thing for the sixth time this week. But instead of screaming "Just deal with it once and for all! " in their face (although you probably want to), try to understand them instead. You'll reap the rewards from it.
« Negative chatter and miserable stories can often mask feelings of low self-esteem and inferiority. The empathy you feel will dilute their words and will also make you feel more positive towards yourself, further boosting your mood » says Tong.
Start by immunising your body
If you don't want to catch a cold, you do everything you can to keep your body healthy and your immune system strong. That means getting enough sleep, a healthy diet and exercise. The same goes for avoiding catching negativity. If your body is weak then negativity is more likely to take hold.
« Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don't get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present. A good night's sleep makes you more positive, creative, and proactive in your approach to toxic people, » writes Travis Bradberry.
That's why Tong recommends a good night's sleep and a brisk walk or quick run before you go to work in the morning.
Lead by example.
What's the main principle in training dogs? It tends to be to ignore behaviour you want them to stop and reward what you want them to build on. The same goes for people. Don't reward your ever-moaning colleagues with your attention when they start on yet another roll of negativity. Just answer them with "OK" or "I see" but be more enthusiastic and involved when it comes to more constructive conversations. Repeat until they've learnt their lesson.
Dress happy
Maybe you have a pair of snazzy socks that make you smile every time you put them on. Maybe you have a rock 'n' roll t-shirt to wear under your shirt that makes your feel invincible during the day?
Whatever it is, we all own something that makes us smile. Tong recommends "a splash" of punchy colours as "colour has an impact on our psychological mood."
I have my own very effective tip that combats negativity and is bound to boost your mood.
Pump up the volume
I've been a musician (harpist) since I was a little girl and see music as my second language, but you don't have to be a professional musician to appreciate its proven benefits and healing properties. "Music is good for the soul" and it can give us the energy we need to avoid the surrounding negativity. We all have a favourite song that gets us buzzing as soon as we hear the opening chords. Turn up the volume and get your favourite tune blasting out of your headphones before you get to the office or during a musical break when your energy levels are low. Your smile and energy will come flooding back!
Ready to combat the dark side of your toxic workmate?
If you're lacking inspiration, here are some tracks (for every taste) to boost your positivity.
Turn up the volume and get your smile back! Who knows, you could start a positivity epidemic?
Happy – Pharrell Williams
Behind the Mask – Eric Clapton
Reasons – Earth, Wind & Fire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHeM5GUYgZU
Onde anda o meu amor- Orlandivo
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